It's not even my birthday

I have spent so much time & money over the years making sure everyone around me had memorable, awesome birthdays. No one has ever put that much effort in for me. I know it's just a birthday and they never asked for that, but I wanted them to feel special, and I guess I just feel like maybe once or twice, someone would have wanted me to feel the same way? I don't know. I never did it so that they would reciprocate, and I never expected the same, but it would have been nice is all.

This whole thing has really caused an extreme intro-(and outro)spection. I feel so hesitant to even try to get to know anyone ever again. It's heartbreaking how fleeting years of memories turned out to be. How people I thought I would know until my dying days, are just gone. Our lives will continue on and eventually we won't even spare a thought for each other.